This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
why do people say chicken as a term for coward? Have you ever meet a chicken? Cause those things will fuck you up man
”Then the customer said, fix me a dead grub sandwvich… and make it FAST! Wvait, that wvasn’t it… And, uh. Hurry up wvith it!… no?”
”YOU A SAD MOTHERFUCKER WHAT CAN’T EVEN MAKE A DEAD GRUB LAUGHWORTHY. BETTER PUT YOU ALL UP AND OUTTA YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN MISERY.”
The last thing Dualscar ever did see :Y
Figures, he’d go out trying to make deadgrub jokes (get it, because ORPHANER. HAH. eugh).
HERE’S YOUR MAKARA YOU BUNCHA FANBIDDIES. Also the stitched together version: is here
Tell me this is not one of the most motivating demotivating posters you’ve ever seen.
Made by Drakevarg
I’m not going to lie. Some of these make me want to be a world eater. Don’t feed my world eater ego.
- purposefully forget their names
- any time yr talking about anything outside the realm of COD, energy drinks, or football, pause and giggle and say “oh, but sorry - you wouldn’t know anything about this, right? we can change the subject”
- extension on #1: call him by the name of another boy w the same hair color as him. when he protests, laugh and act like he’s trying to trick u
- "hold this." stop acknowledging him for the remainder of the encounter until it is time to collect you bag/purse/coat/etc
- "sorry, what? i wasn’t listening" rinse and repeat
- tilt yr head. make a cute face. “awwwwww”
the boy tears in the notes are amazing
What would Jesus not do?
Things Jesus would do:
- Flip tables
- Turn water into fine wine to save your wedding party
- Tell the weather outside to STOP
- Curse trees for producing shitty fruit
- Bring people back from the dead
- Go fishing
- Give you food
- Whatever the hell he wants to on the Sabbath
- Make furniture
- Walk across the ocean because you need to stop
This…is the best
As Stalkingstalkerthatstalks said: Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
CAN I GET THAT ON A TSHIRT
Fanon Jesus is a white guy who hugs lambs
Canon Jesus is a sassy middle eastern guy who hung out with prostitudes and spread peace and acceptance of everyone
who also hugged lambs
when an extremely incorrect headcanon/interpretation is widely accepted as canon